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Journal, Log, Diary
Notebook, Testament & Scrapbook

Hello,

I am an American --- born a citizen of the United States of America, on the North American Continent --- and a septuagenarian of 71 years.
Carol
platform and workspace

Inpiration

BeingBlackToday.com came into being 11 years ago, in 2014, as a platform of exploration -- for exercising and celebrating freedom of speech, sharing interests, ideas, knowledge, and perspectives.

And, because of my interest in internet, intranet, and team-based web application development, rather than seek to platform content with popular social media sites, I gravitated towards development of a custom platform, so that I might, at the same time, enhance my coding skills --- utilizing the Visual Studio IDE, IIS, Visual Basic .NET Web Forms, JavaScript, jQuery, AJAX, CSS, Bootstrap, SQL Server technologies --- including the Telerik UI, and other 3rd-Party Components/ Plugins/ APIs.

However, the website's theme and my adoption of "BeingBlackToday" as an online persona, were inspired by my first direct and impactful encounter with a racist, who sought to use every lever of power to demean, disrupt, and upend my existence.  In line with what was demonstrated by their unrelenting actions -- that racism is clear sociopathy, a chaos --- normalized by society at large, I decided that the foundation, boundary, and driver of my efforts would be guidance found in the I Ching --- "The best way to fight against evil is to make energetic progress in the good."
During the slow crawl of after work freeway traffic, I positioned my cell phone on the dash to capture a stunning panorama of cloud formations (you had to be there), and with this special song playing on loop in the background, I felt as if I were moving under the 'Canopy of God'.

Before the decision to build a website was made, this song had become my inspiration and salvation.  I was in a very dark place, thinking unchecked savage thoughts of revenge, on a daily basis, against the racist who had entered my life.  And then one day, while wearing my headphones, listening to a Pandora playlist based on Jill Scott and Lauryn Hill, a gospel song was dropped into the mix.

Agitated that my vibe was being hijacked, I hurriedly reached for my phone to fix this, all the while listening to the words: "they whispered, conspired, they told their lies", "attacked my character, my integrity" --- these were the exact areas of troubles brought to me by the racist. And, by the time the chorus of "Yesss" was finished, I said within myself, "God is Blessing me."

From that moment on, I listened to this soul inspiring song on a loop daily, and this worked swiftly to replace my dark, obsessive thoughts of revenge --- thoughts which, in the moment, I did not even recognize as being vile or wicked, but purposeful. I am greatful, and humbled by the fact that I had become so very lost in darkness, but then was pulled free of it, to my salvation.

YouTube: Hezekiah Walker, "God Favored Me (Extended Version)"
"God Favored Me"

Mission

Looking back over earlier versions of this website, the content published seems to demonstrate a core mission to...

  • Confront issues and matters arising from Being Black, in a constructive and counteractive way.


Technology Change
When I began the original website project back in 2014, I was just getting my web-based development feet wet, having come from early generation mainframe and desktop coding (looking sexy again) environments.

Starting with this reconstruction project, I am better experienced in coding for the web, which should come in handy, now that I am required to start a new skill-building journey for learning custom WordPress development utilizing: Apache Server, Ubuntu Desktop, Visual Studio Code, PHP, JavaScript, MySQL, XAMPP, Oracle Virtual Box, Git/GitHub, and related tools.

I am also motivated to explore today's modern web technologies, including those areas of AI that remain generally accessible for providing intelligent assistance, code and image generation.
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2025

2nd Inspiration

During the six months that BeingBlackToday was offline, I questioned and distanced myself from the project concept entirely.  Life experiences, new insights, and real-time changes in society provided me a new perspective --- on both myself and the world around me.

As I stepped away, I glanced back at the world and all of the internet spaces that I'd been, and saw a chaotic wall of faces and overlapping voices, all speaking at once. The idea of returning to this space, where my voice would likely go unheard, felt uninspiring. Then, I had an epiphany: in this reconstructed version I would shift my focus. Instead of speaking to the present, I would speak to the generations to come.

After watching several episodes of Finding Your Roots, hosted by Henry Louis Gates Jr., I was struck by the profound satisfaction modern-day adults experience upon discovering even a single written reference to an ancestor. Equally moving was their open-minded, nonjudgmental acceptance of lives lived within historical contexts --- no matter how surprising the details. It was inspirational to think that a descendant of mine, far into the future, might trace my existence to a single branch or leaf on their family tree, and along with that, find this "portrait" of my experience prepared for them.

I have no idea about how my small corner of the internet might be preserved until that time, but imagine a future where an AI-powered personal assistant might retrieve such details in easy fashion, for someone searching their history. With that possibility in mind, I allow myself the freedom to be open, expressive, and as meticulous or meandering as I choose. Regardless of how far these words may travel, my efforts will always be a labor of love --- just as they were when first conceived.
1992

The Original?

If it were not for a random Google Photos “Remember the Moment” notification, I might have forgotten my original effort at "BeingBlackToday", The Family Matters --- published in 1992 to a dot matrix printer, copied and compiled at Kinko’s, and personally distributed throughout the community, as well as to businesses (with free 1/4 page advertising).

Seeing the pages of that newsletter reminded me of just how long I have felt compelled to explore and express the reality of my humanity and Blackness. This renewed effort now feels like a full-circle moment --- an evolution of the very same impulse that first inspired me decades ago.